There is an old story of a king who visited a wealthy merchant in his kingdom. The merchant welcomed him with generosity, offered comfort, fine food, and visible respect. Everything appeared correct, yet the king left feeling uneasy and angry, unable to name the source of his discomfort. Soon after, he visited an old man living near the forest, who had little to offer except forest berries and some water. The king felt calm there and left with a sense of ease that stayed with him.

Puzzled by these contrasting experiences, the king turned to his guru, who asked him to look beyond behaviour and examine the realities people were living with.

Disguised as a poor man, the king returned to the merchant’s house seeking work and was taken in. As days passed, he heard the merchant and his employees speak of heavy taxes, unpredictable policies, and officials demanding illegal favours in the king’s name. The merchant was not angry at the king as a person, but distressed by the kingdom he represented and the pressure it placed on his life and livelihood.

The king then understood his earlier reaction. When he had arrived as a ruler, the merchant’s actions were respectful, but his inner world was filled with fear and resentment shaped by the system. The king had sensed that inner reality and taken it personally. The old man, on the other hand, had nothing to gain or lose from the kingdom. His welcome was free of fear, and that freedom had been felt immediately.

For leaders, this story is a reminder that what we experience in others is often a response to the structures, incentives, and pressures we create, not just to our personality or intent.

Some reflections this story invites leaders to sit with:

  • What emotions might people be carrying toward my role or authority, even when they appear supportive and respectful?
  • How often do I step out of my position and listen without defending, explaining, or justifying my intent?